I woke up this morning and my daughter was feeling sick in the tummy. It is not unusual for this to be used as a reason for not having to go to school. I also was aware that we had stayed up far too late the night before for a school night consuming more than one person’s share of ice-cream each.
Given all this, I was angry at her for being sick and I was not being very nice to her. My kind and brave husband pulled me aside and encouraged me to consider her in a different light (and for the record I didn’t bite his head off - win).
I went and had a shower to calm down and discovered that I believed that my daughter was purposefully trying to sabotage my day. She had chosen to have a sore tummy today to spite me! Surely she knew I had to go to the endodontist in 15 minutes – no stress there (ha), and the kids needed to go to school in ten minutes.
I was flabbergasted to discover that I was angry at her for being so mean and purposefully feeling sick to sabotage me and derail my plans. WOW! Clearly not the case. (It sounds ridiculous writing it, but I was certain it was the truth.)
And then it dropped to the deeper level.
I could see that I had been treated like that as a child.
And it had hurt me.
I had been the enemy for others when something happened for me that did not fit their well-oiled plan. The plan that had limited time margins for it to be a success.
And here I was perpetuating exactly what had hurt me onto my beloved daughter!
I wonder how many times I have positioned others as the enemy when their life didn’t go to my plan. They are not trying to upset me or disturb my schedule. Life just happened for them and they have a need that requires a little help from a friend.
Am I willing to stop and consider what’s happening for them or will I hold to my timeline and steam roll them? I have pressed on regardless in the past, but I am wanting to live a different way now.
I went to my daughter and apologised for thinking that she had purposefully gotten a sore tummy to ruin my day.
She had not.
She needed my love and understanding, not my chastisement and punishment.
I went off to my dental appointment and the other kids got to school but she’s still at home on the couch needing some love and possibly a sugar detox 😉
Anyone in your life struggling?
Do you need to reposition yourself in response to them?
Sending you courage to face your not so pleasant bits in the aim of improving your relationships with those you love! xxx